


The Littlest Things That Take Me There

by AlexKingstonIsQueen



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Break Up, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Feels, Light Angst, Mattex (implied), Moving Out, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-09 16:38:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4356539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexKingstonIsQueen/pseuds/AlexKingstonIsQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Alex Kingston swears the past month was a dream turned nightmare.  It was perfect for three years, such amazing bliss.  But her insecurities go the best of her. She pushed the one man she loved,Matt Smith, away. She was angry at herself for it. She had forced him to move out without a chance for him to talk her out of it. She had inflicted so much emotional pain on both of them, and she secluded herself for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, this is my first attempt at an actual fic. I'll try to keep writing.

Alex walked around the crowded marketplace to the one place she felt relaxed, _the_ _ir_ bench. She sat there with the one man she loved, Matt Smith. The man she allowed herself to push away. A tear slid down her cheek followed by a second then a third as she saw her phone and looked at the home screen. A photo of her and him when they were happy, a photo of them on their first Valentine's Day together. She refused to change the picture, and it was slowly killing her. 

 

_Why'd you push him away Alexandra?_   She asked herself, but heaven-forbid the real reason was the most stupid thing in her life.  _Her insecurities._ Alex told herself. God why did she let the past creep up on her and fill her with terror like that? She looked down at her tear filled phone and saw exactly what day it was, it was his birthday. October 28th. The misery wouldn't ever end, would it?  Before she knew what she was doing, she unlocked her phone and sent a text to Matt.

 

_ A- Hey. _

 

** M- Hi **

 

_ A- I know you probably never want to hear from me again, but I wanted to say Happy Birthday. _

 

** M- Well, thank you Kingston. **

 

She smiled at that, no matter how much he probably hated her he still called her that stupidly adorable nickname he gave her.

 

_ A-I'm sorry. _

 

** M- For what? **

 

_ A- Ignoring your attempts at talking to me, pushing you so far away I doubted you'd ever want to see me again. _

 

** M-Alex, no matter how far you push me away I will still love you. **

Tears slid down Alex's cheeks faster than she could wipe them away, and she stared at the text for a moment, beginning to reply then deleting what she typed. She slid her phone away, feeling like if she couldn't see the thing that was causing her pain then it would stop. She couldn't have been more wrong. The moment she looked up she regretted it, seeing a few couples being in love and doing things she and Matt once did. Oh, how she missed those days. The days when all they did was lay in bed and cuddle, hold hands whilst walking, the goodmorning kisses, falling asleep in each others arms. God how she needed those again. She looked down at her hands and she regretted that too. Her eyes caught on the promise ring Matt had given her on their first Christmas together. 

 

_ Why can't I shake these memories?    _ She thought as she stood and began to walk to her car. She got to her car and started it, turning the radio on. She really shouldn't of done that. Fix You by Coldplay was on. She turned it up to drown out the sound of her tears streaming down her face, her sniffles silent.    


 

_ When the tears come streaming down your face,  
When you lose something you can't replace. _

 

She got home and went directly to her room, crying all night and into the morning.  _And I still have to film with Matt for the next seven months._ She thought as she got up to get ready for work. She looked in the mirror and God sis she look awful. She sighed, that's what the make-up crew is for. She quickly got dressed and drove to set, scared to see the man she cried over the night before.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Alex was sitting in her make-up chair, sighing sadly as she fumbled with the promise ring Matt gave her two and a half years ago. She hadn't realized karen had taken her spot next to her.

 

"Oh Alex " Karen hugged her after spotting the promise ring in Alex's hand, she had known Alex pushed Matt away and eventually made him move out. Alex sighed as she wiped the tears.

"I should talk to him." Alex said more to herself than to Karen,getting up to do so. God I am going to regret this she thought. Alex gets up and proceeds to the door.

 

 

"Alex where are you going?" Questions Karen knowing where she might be going.

 

"Oh, um I'll be right back" alex answers and carries on out the door. Karen's eye brows raise and a smirk appears on her face. As Alex goes outside Matt is already there not expecting Alex.

 

"Well hello Kingston" he says.

 

Alex can't help but blush and say "hello sweetie" back. "I was trying to find you, i needed to speak to you" she says.

 

"About?" Matt asks.

 

"Um, can we go somewhere else?" Alex questions.

 

"Why?" He exclaims.

 

"Karen, I can feel you breathing on my neck" Alex says and turns around. Matt grabs Alexs hand and pulls her into the next room.

 

"Now what do you want to talk about?" Matt asks. Alex wonders why Matt is being so sweet to her considering she had just pushed him away. Maybe this wasn't a good idea at all. She sighed as she fumbled for words mentally.

 

 


	3. Forgot to remember you could make me feel this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated recently, I haven't found the time to. The chapter title is based on Mouth To Mouth by Paloma Faith. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for being patient and putting up with my awful writing.
> 
> -Brie xo

Alex didn't know why she had decided talking to Matt was such a good idea, but there was no turning back now. Literally. He was standing right behind her as she paced closely to the wall. 

 

 

She sighed "Matt, I want us to be together again. I've been miserable on my own. I'm useless without you. I need you. And ignoring the pain I've caused between us is slowly killing me. I spent what seemed like centuries trying to convince myself I didn't need to cry myself to sleep every night. But it didn't do anything. I always slept on your side of the bed. I couldn't even be bothered to wash the sheets. I felt like if I could surround myself with your things it would make me happy, but it amplified my pain. It reminded me of all our fights, and when I yelled at you. It hurt so much but I couldn't not do the things we used to do. I always wanted to think...." Alex was cut off by Matt's lips on hers, a slow soft caring kiss. A kiss she'd wished for the past few months. She kissed back, and it went on like that for a few minutes.

 

"I've wanted to hear those words from you for so long Alex." Matt whispered to Alex, and she could literally feel the pasts pain pouring put of them, and the futures hope flooding into them.

 

They stood in comfortable silence for a few moments before she asked "please stay with me tonight? I promise I'm not just trying to get a quick shag." Matt nodded a yes, hugging Alex lovingly. Alex took a deep breath in relief, and with that they pleaded with Steven to let them have the day off, and he finally agreed. The two took their time getting to Alex's, stopping at a few stores they always went to together. They got to Alex's at about nine that evening, and went pretty much right to bed. They laid together cuddling in bed for a long while until Matt fell asleep, then Alex turned over facing away from him, tears streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't believe they were finally back together. But that was only partly the reason her pillow was damp with tears, she'd been keeping a secret from him for three and a half months. A secret she didn't know he to reveal. She reached over to her nightstand and opened the middle drawer, grabbing the two photos in the drawer and held them close to her heart. She silently turned the lamp on and ran her fingers over the first photo, a picture of her and Matt on their third anniversary of when they started dating. She took in a sharp breath as she felt her heart twinge when she looked at the second picture, a picture from twelve days ago of the baby girl currently developing in her body. She looked down at her stomach as tears fell down her cheeks and onto her pillow. How was she going to tell him he was going to be a father in five and a half months? How would he react? She decided she had to tell him right then.

 

She shook him awake "Matt wake up" she said softly, so he did. She simply shoved the ultrasound photo into his hands, and looking confused Matt scanned it. It took him a moment to register Alex's name on the top of the photo, then his next to it. He looked up at Alex.

 

"you're pregnant???" He questioned in disbelief, certainly a good way to wake someone up.

 

"yes" Alex said wiping away tears, and Matt simply took her face into his hands and kissed her passionately yet softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caught you off guard didn't I? This was so hard to write really, and that's why its so short. Try not to hate me. Anyhow, its hard to find time to write and school starts up next week for me. I'll try to update as regularly as possible but it may not be as often as I'd like.


End file.
